Telephone call as I was leaving the grocery store:
Me: hello?
Elderly lady (could be my mother) HELLO RICK?
Me: Sorry, you have the wrong number. I don't know Rick.
Her: RICK IS OUR FERTILIZER MAN, YOU KNOW ...
(in the background: TELL HIM WE NEED FERTILIZER!
Me: I don't know Rick. This is a cell number. I'm in Seattle...
Her" MY STARS! TECHNOLOGY! IN SEATTLE! CAN YOU TELL RICK WE NEED FERTILIZER?
Me: Sure.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Happy Birthday to my best friend
Tonight I helped celebrate my best friend's birthday. Already 49 years old, it seems like yesterday that we met. Yesterday was in 1991 and we were both much younger -- in our twenties, actually.
It's easy to take friendship for granted. Friends, the term used loosely, come and go... you have someone in your life for a while then they fade away and disappear. Everyone goes through this. But that hasn't happened in this case and it never will.
I have been through a lot with this guy. Love and loss. Fun and heartbreak. Vacations, too many to count. Periods of time where our friendship was strained and periods when it was intense.
When I was going through a crisis in my mid-twenties, he offered me a place to stay in his home. We barely knew each other at that point. What he did literally changed my life and shaped who I am today. I'll never forget that.
When we had only talked on the phone; never met, but knew that we had a connection. I invited him to my family's home in Montana. That trip was all it took. We have been close ever since.
A few years ago, he went through a life changing experience; one that altered every fabric of his being. I worried for him and for a couple of years he was distant and remote. Depressed and unhealthy. There was little anyone could do other than just be there. I hope that I was there enough for him. It was, and is, hard to tell if anyone did enough for him during that period.
Today, as he starts on the first day of his 5th decade, the sun shines; he is happy, partnered again, entertaining and witty as ever. I am so happy to have seen the transformation and I thank God that he is back and that our friendship endures and thrives.
Happy birthday, David! I can't wait to see what the future decades hold for you. I know it will be good!
It's easy to take friendship for granted. Friends, the term used loosely, come and go... you have someone in your life for a while then they fade away and disappear. Everyone goes through this. But that hasn't happened in this case and it never will.
I have been through a lot with this guy. Love and loss. Fun and heartbreak. Vacations, too many to count. Periods of time where our friendship was strained and periods when it was intense.
When I was going through a crisis in my mid-twenties, he offered me a place to stay in his home. We barely knew each other at that point. What he did literally changed my life and shaped who I am today. I'll never forget that.
When we had only talked on the phone; never met, but knew that we had a connection. I invited him to my family's home in Montana. That trip was all it took. We have been close ever since.
A few years ago, he went through a life changing experience; one that altered every fabric of his being. I worried for him and for a couple of years he was distant and remote. Depressed and unhealthy. There was little anyone could do other than just be there. I hope that I was there enough for him. It was, and is, hard to tell if anyone did enough for him during that period.
Today, as he starts on the first day of his 5th decade, the sun shines; he is happy, partnered again, entertaining and witty as ever. I am so happy to have seen the transformation and I thank God that he is back and that our friendship endures and thrives.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Vic or Van.
My friends and I were uncomfortably staring at our menus as the word vomit rained down on us from above. We'd been in the restaurant only about five minutes when the waitress had developed a special attraction for us.
Short with blond hair pulled back tightly into a pony tail, she reminded me of a younger, less refined Krstin Chenoweth. If Kristin Chenoweth was lonely, dressed poorly and lived in a small Canadian town. "I should probably stop talking" she said, "you'll think I'm weird." "Where are you from anyway? I never see you around here. I know everyone around town. You must not be from here.". She didn't stay to find out where we were from. "I'll be right back," she said and then she disappeared back into the bar.
My friend Chad didn't know what to do; she hadn't stopped looking at him the entire time. The other two of us might as well not have existed. She was really into Chad. Chad's boyfriend was amused. I wanted her to stop talking.
She ran off. A few moments later she returned with waters and said "I forgot to take your orders! I'm sorry! You must think I'm weird!" Then she looked at Chad and said "What do YOU want?" I started laughing ... "You do think I'm weird!" came out of fake-Kristen's mouth. "I'll be right back she said and then shot off across the dining room"
We were talking about this surreal experience when she returned. "Do you like Vic or Van?" she asked. "I prefer Vic" she continued ... much more relaxed and friendly. Van is too high strung...I never know where I stand with Van." We all looked at each other. Who are Vic and Van I wondered.
Chad quietly said, "we don't know either of them. We're not from here." She looked at him and started laughing..."Vic or Van...Victoria or Vancouver. Which city do you prefer? I prefer Vic. Van is too high strung and too diverse," she continued... "Of course both of them are too far away. And too big. We go to Kalispell for Costco and to Spokane for other stuff. Things are cheaper down there."
We laughed...because as gay boys, of course we prefer Van. We had just never heard them referred to that way before. While we were eating, Chad pulled out a note pad and pen and wrote Vic and Van down on his list of strange phrases and situations that we had experienced during the week.
A couple of weeks later, when I was in Vancouver for pride, I felt like an "in the know native" because I knew to call the city Van. If it weren't for that night in Cranbrook, with the crazy waitress, I would never have had that insider's tip.
Short with blond hair pulled back tightly into a pony tail, she reminded me of a younger, less refined Krstin Chenoweth. If Kristin Chenoweth was lonely, dressed poorly and lived in a small Canadian town. "I should probably stop talking" she said, "you'll think I'm weird." "Where are you from anyway? I never see you around here. I know everyone around town. You must not be from here.". She didn't stay to find out where we were from. "I'll be right back," she said and then she disappeared back into the bar.
My friend Chad didn't know what to do; she hadn't stopped looking at him the entire time. The other two of us might as well not have existed. She was really into Chad. Chad's boyfriend was amused. I wanted her to stop talking.
She ran off. A few moments later she returned with waters and said "I forgot to take your orders! I'm sorry! You must think I'm weird!" Then she looked at Chad and said "What do YOU want?" I started laughing ... "You do think I'm weird!" came out of fake-Kristen's mouth. "I'll be right back she said and then shot off across the dining room"
We were talking about this surreal experience when she returned. "Do you like Vic or Van?" she asked. "I prefer Vic" she continued ... much more relaxed and friendly. Van is too high strung...I never know where I stand with Van." We all looked at each other. Who are Vic and Van I wondered.
Chad quietly said, "we don't know either of them. We're not from here." She looked at him and started laughing..."Vic or Van...Victoria or Vancouver. Which city do you prefer? I prefer Vic. Van is too high strung and too diverse," she continued... "Of course both of them are too far away. And too big. We go to Kalispell for Costco and to Spokane for other stuff. Things are cheaper down there."
We laughed...because as gay boys, of course we prefer Van. We had just never heard them referred to that way before. While we were eating, Chad pulled out a note pad and pen and wrote Vic and Van down on his list of strange phrases and situations that we had experienced during the week.
A couple of weeks later, when I was in Vancouver for pride, I felt like an "in the know native" because I knew to call the city Van. If it weren't for that night in Cranbrook, with the crazy waitress, I would never have had that insider's tip.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Generally unhappy...
Don't know what to say except that things aren't going the way they should. I'm used to having things work out, so this is a new experience for me.
I spent the weekend doing housework and generally being anti-social. I did go out to dinner tonight and that was a good diversion, but all in all ...
I lost a really good friend this weekend. I hope it's not a permanent situation; I feel awful but I guess there was no other alternative. Too much water under the bridge as someone I know likes to say. It's a lesson in getting too close to someone. People should let their friends remain friends and not try to change the dynamic. It's impossible when the shift becomes to powerful to manage.
Today I laid out on my deck and watched the Blue Angels do their show over Lake Washington. My cat hung out with me; she's nothing like my previous cat ... the roar of the jet engines didn't bother her at all. It was really sunny and warm; a nice relaxing couple of hours and we both napped. I'm the only one who got a sunburn, though. We've had few days this summer to enjoy the sun so we have to enjoy the ones we get.
Last weekend I went to Vancouver, BC for pride with some friends. I took the train and the rest of them drove up. The train was a really nice experience; I had a water view from my seat. Great views the entire trip. On Saturday I got up early and ran the 12K Stanley Park and Seawall loop. Somehow I injured my knee and it just seems to be getting worse. I have resisted going to the doctor thus far, but I think tomorrow will be the day.
The fireworks in Van were amazing. They have an international competition each year. The night we were there China put on the show. I've never seen such a complicated and extensive fireworks show. The city went all out to welcome the celebrants! Flags and banners in nearly every business. The streets were closed because there were too many people for the sidewalk to accommodate. In Seatte, we are proud of our Gay presence... but it cannot compete with Vancouver during Pride!
I look around at all the advantages that I have been blessed with and I should be happy for them. But right now it's hard. I wonder how I've gotten here, out of control and scattering in the wind...I hope things get back to normal soon!
I spent the weekend doing housework and generally being anti-social. I did go out to dinner tonight and that was a good diversion, but all in all ...
I lost a really good friend this weekend. I hope it's not a permanent situation; I feel awful but I guess there was no other alternative. Too much water under the bridge as someone I know likes to say. It's a lesson in getting too close to someone. People should let their friends remain friends and not try to change the dynamic. It's impossible when the shift becomes to powerful to manage.
Today I laid out on my deck and watched the Blue Angels do their show over Lake Washington. My cat hung out with me; she's nothing like my previous cat ... the roar of the jet engines didn't bother her at all. It was really sunny and warm; a nice relaxing couple of hours and we both napped. I'm the only one who got a sunburn, though. We've had few days this summer to enjoy the sun so we have to enjoy the ones we get.
Last weekend I went to Vancouver, BC for pride with some friends. I took the train and the rest of them drove up. The train was a really nice experience; I had a water view from my seat. Great views the entire trip. On Saturday I got up early and ran the 12K Stanley Park and Seawall loop. Somehow I injured my knee and it just seems to be getting worse. I have resisted going to the doctor thus far, but I think tomorrow will be the day.
The fireworks in Van were amazing. They have an international competition each year. The night we were there China put on the show. I've never seen such a complicated and extensive fireworks show. The city went all out to welcome the celebrants! Flags and banners in nearly every business. The streets were closed because there were too many people for the sidewalk to accommodate. In Seatte, we are proud of our Gay presence... but it cannot compete with Vancouver during Pride!
I look around at all the advantages that I have been blessed with and I should be happy for them. But right now it's hard. I wonder how I've gotten here, out of control and scattering in the wind...I hope things get back to normal soon!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Changing realities ...
Today's news that the US Post Office is considering the closure of both the Two Dot and Martinsdale Post Offices is discouraging but not surprising. Small communities have been under pressure to survive for decades. It's easy to lay blame -- on politicians, on big-box stores, on changes to governmental policies.
Post Offices themselves are getting less use; fewer people send mail using stamps. Fewer letters are incoming as people use e-mail and websites more and more to communicate, pay bills and make purchases.
The fact is that populations continue to shrink in small rural towns. People have been moving to cities for at least three generations now. And the jobs that supported small towns like Martinsdale are gone. Railroad, gone. School, gone. Grocery store and gas stations, gone too. Ranches that used to require large numbers of ranch hands no longer need them because of advancements in technology. Meanwhile, the people who are left bypass small towns on their way to Billings or Bozeman to buy their groceries. They are even, largely, bypassing the next size up towns like Harlowton. All to save a few dollars, never thinking about the cost in fuel and time that it takes to get to those larger economic hubs.
It used to be that people went to Billings for a specialized doctor visit, to pick up relatives at the airport or annual Christmas and back-to-school shopping trips. Now it's to go to Costco Walmart or Home Depot.
The damage to small communities is incremental. Instead of a gas station being sold, it closes when the owner retires. Nobody really notices because, hey, he retired! On the walls of the community hall in Martinsdale, ghosts from the past look out from black and white photos. Large smorgasbord gatherings and community events all speak to a vital past when most things a community needed to survive were right at hand.
Then one day, the Post Office closes. With that, the town dies.
Post Offices themselves are getting less use; fewer people send mail using stamps. Fewer letters are incoming as people use e-mail and websites more and more to communicate, pay bills and make purchases.
The fact is that populations continue to shrink in small rural towns. People have been moving to cities for at least three generations now. And the jobs that supported small towns like Martinsdale are gone. Railroad, gone. School, gone. Grocery store and gas stations, gone too. Ranches that used to require large numbers of ranch hands no longer need them because of advancements in technology. Meanwhile, the people who are left bypass small towns on their way to Billings or Bozeman to buy their groceries. They are even, largely, bypassing the next size up towns like Harlowton. All to save a few dollars, never thinking about the cost in fuel and time that it takes to get to those larger economic hubs.
It used to be that people went to Billings for a specialized doctor visit, to pick up relatives at the airport or annual Christmas and back-to-school shopping trips. Now it's to go to Costco Walmart or Home Depot.
The damage to small communities is incremental. Instead of a gas station being sold, it closes when the owner retires. Nobody really notices because, hey, he retired! On the walls of the community hall in Martinsdale, ghosts from the past look out from black and white photos. Large smorgasbord gatherings and community events all speak to a vital past when most things a community needed to survive were right at hand.
Then one day, the Post Office closes. With that, the town dies.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Stephen Shore's Uncommon Places
I spent some time tonight looking at Uncommon Places. Stephen Shore's seminal photo collection of America in the 1970s. His photographs are raw; they lay bare the country's soul as it struggled through a brutal recession and war. The juxtaposition between what we see today and what those images show couldn't be more stark. Then: bleakness, empty streets, soul less vacant stares among his subjects. Today: we are suffering through an even more brutal recession and war, yet a visitor would be hard pressed to see it in the vitality and hum of our cities. For people who believe that today's challenges are unprecedented; a quick historical study of our not too distant past would be beneficial. Shore was very young when he embarked on his journey; ironically, it is usually youth that see the truth. Maybe it is that they are still willing to rock the boat where where older, more jaded people aren't.
I'm also struck by the photos in that they show a period of fundamental transition. You can see the basic building blocks of today's America, yet in towns across the country the norm was still the dying lifestyle of the 1940s, 1950s and 1960s. The period of time that Shore documented so clearly truly foretells the future. It it isn't pretty. But it is brilliant.
I saw some of Shore's work at the Whitney in New York City a few years ago. I keep going back to it because, as someone who was an impressionable child in the 1970s, I have a tendency to glamorize the period. The truth is that brutal racisim, sexism, economic and political dispair and homophobia dominated the landscape. Shore's images, without trying, document the truth. Everyone should take a look at them.
I'm also struck by the photos in that they show a period of fundamental transition. You can see the basic building blocks of today's America, yet in towns across the country the norm was still the dying lifestyle of the 1940s, 1950s and 1960s. The period of time that Shore documented so clearly truly foretells the future. It it isn't pretty. But it is brilliant.
I saw some of Shore's work at the Whitney in New York City a few years ago. I keep going back to it because, as someone who was an impressionable child in the 1970s, I have a tendency to glamorize the period. The truth is that brutal racisim, sexism, economic and political dispair and homophobia dominated the landscape. Shore's images, without trying, document the truth. Everyone should take a look at them.
Thinking about my favorite place ...
A few days ago, I returned from my latest trip to Montana and a few days in Glacier Park. There have been a lot of changes in my life in the past year and I was looking forward to being grounded at home again...no cell service...no plans to be on my laptop. Just hanging with my friends and family and reflecting on new and missed opportunities. I had a great time in Two Dot at the street dance, at a family picnic in the Crazy Mountains, the 4th of July rodeo in Harlowton and a hike to Daisy Peak with my sister and friends.
As much as I enjoy being at home, my real love in Montana is Glacier National Park. I have missed only one summer visit in the past 12 years. This year the special hike was into Medicine Grizzly Lake at the Cutbank area of the park. 13 miles round trip and it came with a verbal grizzly warning from the ranger at the trailhead. The hike was amazing and the lake was spectacular. We saw a moose but no grizzlies. I think my friends and I were the first people there that day; although we met a few on the trail. The solitude and beauty are inspiring and it makes me believe that God must have had a hand in it.
Unfortunately, Things don't often go as intended. This year's trip went by too fast and some unexpected experiences are causing more questions in my life. I'm back in Seattle at work, feeling distant from my friends and I don't really feel any better than I did before; I still need to do some more self-reflection. I guess this is just a year of turmoil; time to catalogue, learn from it and move on a better person. Hopefully.
As much as I enjoy being at home, my real love in Montana is Glacier National Park. I have missed only one summer visit in the past 12 years. This year the special hike was into Medicine Grizzly Lake at the Cutbank area of the park. 13 miles round trip and it came with a verbal grizzly warning from the ranger at the trailhead. The hike was amazing and the lake was spectacular. We saw a moose but no grizzlies. I think my friends and I were the first people there that day; although we met a few on the trail. The solitude and beauty are inspiring and it makes me believe that God must have had a hand in it.
Unfortunately, Things don't often go as intended. This year's trip went by too fast and some unexpected experiences are causing more questions in my life. I'm back in Seattle at work, feeling distant from my friends and I don't really feel any better than I did before; I still need to do some more self-reflection. I guess this is just a year of turmoil; time to catalogue, learn from it and move on a better person. Hopefully.
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