Tonight I helped celebrate my best friend's birthday. Already 49 years old, it seems like yesterday that we met. Yesterday was in 1991 and we were both much younger -- in our twenties, actually.
It's easy to take friendship for granted. Friends, the term used loosely, come and go... you have someone in your life for a while then they fade away and disappear. Everyone goes through this. But that hasn't happened in this case and it never will.
I have been through a lot with this guy. Love and loss. Fun and heartbreak. Vacations, too many to count. Periods of time where our friendship was strained and periods when it was intense.
When I was going through a crisis in my mid-twenties, he offered me a place to stay in his home. We barely knew each other at that point. What he did literally changed my life and shaped who I am today. I'll never forget that.
When we had only talked on the phone; never met, but knew that we had a connection. I invited him to my family's home in Montana. That trip was all it took. We have been close ever since.
A few years ago, he went through a life changing experience; one that altered every fabric of his being. I worried for him and for a couple of years he was distant and remote. Depressed and unhealthy. There was little anyone could do other than just be there. I hope that I was there enough for him. It was, and is, hard to tell if anyone did enough for him during that period.
Today, as he starts on the first day of his 5th decade, the sun shines; he is happy, partnered again, entertaining and witty as ever. I am so happy to have seen the transformation and I thank God that he is back and that our friendship endures and thrives.
Happy birthday, David! I can't wait to see what the future decades hold for you. I know it will be good!
My friends and I were uncomfortably staring at our menus as the word vomit rained down on us from above. We'd been in the restaurant only about five minutes when the waitress had developed a special attraction for us.
Short with blond hair pulled back tightly into a pony tail, she reminded me of a younger, less refined Krstin Chenoweth. If Kristin Chenoweth was lonely, dressed poorly and lived in a small Canadian town. "I should probably stop talking" she said, "you'll think I'm weird." "Where are you from anyway? I never see you around here. I know everyone around town. You must not be from here.". She didn't stay to find out where we were from. "I'll be right back," she said and then she disappeared back into the bar.
My friend Chad didn't know what to do; she hadn't stopped looking at him the entire time. The other two of us might as well not have existed. She was really into Chad. Chad's boyfriend was amused. I wanted her to stop talking.
She ran off. A few moments later she returned with waters and said "I forgot to take your orders! I'm sorry! You must think I'm weird!" Then she looked at Chad and said "What do YOU want?" I started laughing ... "You do think I'm weird!" came out of fake-Kristen's mouth. "I'll be right back she said and then shot off across the dining room"
We were talking about this surreal experience when she returned. "Do you like Vic or Van?" she asked. "I prefer Vic" she continued ... much more relaxed and friendly. Van is too high strung...I never know where I stand with Van." We all looked at each other. Who are Vic and Van I wondered.
Chad quietly said, "we don't know either of them. We're not from here." She looked at him and started laughing..."Vic or Van...Victoria or Vancouver. Which city do you prefer? I prefer Vic. Van is too high strung and too diverse," she continued... "Of course both of them are too far away. And too big. We go to Kalispell for Costco and to Spokane for other stuff. Things are cheaper down there."
We laughed...because as gay boys, of course we prefer Van. We had just never heard them referred to that way before. While we were eating, Chad pulled out a note pad and pen and wrote Vic and Van down on his list of strange phrases and situations that we had experienced during the week.
A couple of weeks later, when I was in Vancouver for pride, I felt like an "in the know native" because I knew to call the city Van. If it weren't for that night in Cranbrook, with the crazy waitress, I would never have had that insider's tip.
Don't know what to say except that things aren't going the way they should. I'm used to having things work out, so this is a new experience for me.
I spent the weekend doing housework and generally being anti-social. I did go out to dinner tonight and that was a good diversion, but all in all ...
I lost a really good friend this weekend. I hope it's not a permanent situation; I feel awful but I guess there was no other alternative. Too much water under the bridge as someone I know likes to say. It's a lesson in getting too close to someone. People should let their friends remain friends and not try to change the dynamic. It's impossible when the shift becomes to powerful to manage.
Today I laid out on my deck and watched the Blue Angels do their show over Lake Washington. My cat hung out with me; she's nothing like my previous cat ... the roar of the jet engines didn't bother her at all. It was really sunny and warm; a nice relaxing couple of hours and we both napped. I'm the only one who got a sunburn, though. We've had few days this summer to enjoy the sun so we have to enjoy the ones we get.
Last weekend I went to Vancouver, BC for pride with some friends. I took the train and the rest of them drove up. The train was a really nice experience; I had a water view from my seat. Great views the entire trip. On Saturday I got up early and ran the 12K Stanley Park and Seawall loop. Somehow I injured my knee and it just seems to be getting worse. I have resisted going to the doctor thus far, but I think tomorrow will be the day.
The fireworks in Van were amazing. They have an international competition each year. The night we were there China put on the show. I've never seen such a complicated and extensive fireworks show. The city went all out to welcome the celebrants! Flags and banners in nearly every business. The streets were closed because there were too many people for the sidewalk to accommodate. In Seatte, we are proud of our Gay presence... but it cannot compete with Vancouver during Pride!
I look around at all the advantages that I have been blessed with and I should be happy for them. But right now it's hard. I wonder how I've gotten here, out of control and scattering in the wind...I hope things get back to normal soon!
